I think that this is a topic that most people will look into as a means of discovering a new side of them that they most probably cannot handle or even accept, and once they do they the word is over powered by an attitude that shifts their lives completely; courage. I feel that this is one part of our lives that we somehow discretely touch base on CONSCIOUSLY. Most of the time it is either something we did unconsciously and only realize later on that we did it and did a great job at it, or we rarely dab into it.
I have been looking more and more into fear and what it does to the way I live in my life especially when it comes to fulfilling my vision as a man, a lover, a life coach, an inspirational speaker, a family man, or pretty much a man of high value, and the truth is… That “fear” was unreal. It was so unreal that I tried to identify with it, analyze it, figure it out, and even dissect it so that I can break through it.
Didn’t make sense!
“You know what the problem is, bro?” I asked my best friend over the phone a few months before leaving to Italy once as I laid my “issues” over the call. “I lack a challenge in my life”. And that was such a spot on realization because in other words I was stating that I didn’t really have anything that juiced or moved me towards what I want it.
Noun: Challenge [chalinj]: A demanding or stimulating situation. (Wordweb dictionary)
This is why the years 2010 and 2011 have been the BEST years of my life… So far! I consciously chose to move to countries I have never been to before and one of them
forced challenged me was an OPPORTUNITY for me to learn a new language and live a new culture. One of the other challenges that I wanted to take up is to consciously jump off a cliff. Knowing that I am unrealistically scared of heights, I can only say that leaping off that rocky surface into water without any form of safety was quite the experience; it shut off my mental dialogues aka the b*tch in me aka the child in me aka the EGO. You can even see me in the video having mental dialogues right before the jump until I decided to shut them of all.
(Note: Watch it in HD. Click on 360p and choose 720 or 1080)
DAAAYYMMMM I LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT SINCE THEN!! That was shot in August if I’m not mistaken.
And then I came to London to pursue my passion in life coaching and found that itself to be a challenge… But an enjoyable one! AVERY enjoyable one! I felt that if I were to be challenged, I had to be challenged mentally in a very emotionally way and quite frankly, the people at CTI did a fantastic (and still are) job at training me and the other students to become life coaches. The Core Curriculum brought out the best of me; the true me in every aspect and for me to give up a good load of BS and show up as True Khaled… THAT… I consider to be courage. I suppose I focused so much on the idea of judgement and how people constantly judge me for who I am not. I constantly assumed that I wasn’t loved, that I wasn’t confident, that I wasn’t attractive, that I wasn’t committed to my goals, that I wasn’t PERFECT. The truth is that I am what I am and I am what I am not, and either way I am perfect just the way I am.
Day by day as my stay in London continued I started realizing that I wanted to do a few more things that I sort of put to sleep along the way during my travels and I decided that I will just go for it. And I did… LAST NIGHT! (WARNING: Foul language included in the video below)
Ironically I had no material whatsoever and thanks (big thanks actually) to Husam Jayyusi, I had enough to joke about in the time given to me on stage. It was a great experience because as soon as I stepped on that stage I felt the fear slowly dissipating and disappearing especially when I called it out and said that I was a little nervous.
The gist of all this is to conquer fear one way or another as long as you live and it can be done like this:
- Identify the fear: CALL IT OUT! Say it, write it, allow yourself to feel it. Do not deny it or resist it.
- Release that emotion in the form of energy & movement: Go for what you want to go for. The first step will diffuse the fear in your head & turn it into something useful for you since it really isn’t fear; it’s excitement.
- Enjoy the snowball: The first step turns the second into an addiction to the process and creates this snowball effect. It cannot be stopped until you physically and mentally run out of emotion… Which will take a while
- Practice it: Find ENJOYABLE ways to do it rather than things that you!
Just live authentically, connect with your core & true self, understand what you want without asking yourself so many times what you want. Get clear on the first step only and everything will be taken care of. I GUARANTEE IT!
Quick note: A BIG thank you to all my lovely friends and family who have always supported me in whatever I wanted to do regardless if what I did served me or not. Somehow these people always knew that I’d get through anyway. And a major thanks to the people who attended my first ever stand up comedy gig. Really meant a lot! You know who you are!